Since beginning the journey of writing my first book, I have encouraged three of my dearest friends with tremendous gifts for writing to begin the process of writing their own books. One of them has already finished his, and two of my best girlfriends have begun the process. It’s so rewarding for me to share nuggets of wisdom I’ve gleaned throughout this process and know that it might somehow help someone else to achieve their dreams. Yesterday, I received a call from one of these friends who had some specific questions for me. Afterward, she sent me a page from the notes she took from our conversation and wrote the following words to me regarding our chat: 

“When I called Misti yesterday, I really had one question: How can I be certain that I’m writing the tough parts of my story from a place of goodwill as opposed to one of anger? But what we unraveled in our conversation was so much more – Misti always has insight that leads me to answer questions I haven’t even thought to ask yet. Misti taught me that it’s ok to talk about the dark without actually BECOMING the dark, and that’s the most important thing my heart needed to hear.”
~ Lindsay Hanner 

As a result of the impact this conversation had on both Lindsay and me, I decided to write down the things I shared with her. These tips are the nuggets of wisdom I picked up along my journey of writing my first book, Misti Moments, Volume 1, The Collection, due for release this fall. 

1) Not everything you write is meant to be shared. 

There is writing that is meant to be just for you. Not every detail of your journey is meant to be exposed to the elements. Some pieces are intended to remain hidden and intimately tucked away under the shadow and protection of the Almighty. Those moments were born in the darkness and can stay there having been transmuted by the Light. 

After I had a brain aneurysm a few years ago, my family gave me a week alone at my parent’s lake cabin without my children. It was a time for me to rest, reflect, and just be. I ended up using that time to write. It was therapy for me. I penned over 120,000 words that week. There were things that needed to boil to the surface of my soul. I needed the ladle of God to skim them off the top. Articulating those words was such a release for me. Afterward, I knew they were never to be seen. They were solely for me and for my healing. I call this type of writing therapeutic writing. It belongs intimately for you as a prescription for your healing and release. 

What’s inside of you has to come out one way or the other. We all release trapped emotions in different ways. For me, I find release through pen and paper or spoken in a more modern codex, laptop and keyboard. Don’t feel you always have to expose all the gory details of your story. Most people don’t need to know all the nuts and bolts of the experiences themselves. They are simply seeking the wisdom you gleaned from your moments to help them overcome theirs. They want to know, “How did you get rid of that mindset? How did you make it from A to Z? What steps did you take to free yourself from the depression, grief, loneliness, or heartbreak?” Focus there. Speak to that. 

It is true we overcome by the word of our testimony. Your story matters. Your mess does become your message, and it is what makes you relatable to those waiting for the wisdom you gleaned from it. However, don’t feel you have to expose all to help all. Place your emphasis on what you learned from the defeating moments of your story and use that to uplift and encourage others. 

2) Share your story from a matured emotional space 

Don’t use your platform as a means to get revenge, prove a point, or justify yourself. You have nothing to prove. You are worthy. You are loved unconditionally. What more do you need to affirm about yourself? There will always be those that disagree with you, that don’t like you, that don’t get you, and that quite frankly, are not your tribe. Quit trying to force them to be. Let them go. Don’t use your platform to try and convince the entire world to love you. Trust me, you’ll end up incredibly dissatisfied, because the moment you please one, you will displease another. Instead, write from a space of fulfillment and joy. Write for love of the game. Write with passion and purpose to make a positive impact on the world and to use your story to help make someone’s else story end more beautifully. 

Speak from the right space, with an enlightened mind, and with the highest vibration, you can muster. More clearly stated, speak from a space of love. Heal whatever you need to heal before you start putting your rants into the ether for the rest of humanity to be affected by it. Keep in mind that if it’s not making you feel good or uplifting you when you’re writing it, it’s not going to uplift anyone else either. 

If you write with vengeance, angst, or as someone trying to settle a score, you will attract an audience, but only those who resonate with that message. Who do you want surrounding you? Those seeking to heal from those things or those wanting to stew longer in the rage of them? It boils down to what kind of energy you want encompassing you for this next season of your life? Your words dictate your destiny. Clean them up. Write pretty. 

3) Stop comparing yourself with other people. 

If you spend your time looking around at what everyone else is doing, you’re going to miss what it is that you should be doing. This world doesn’t need more copycats. We need more originals. Stay in your lane, and do your thing. Don’t try to keep up with anyone else or mimic anyone else. Sure, we all need mentors, but be inspired by others. Don’t try to be them. 

Stop competing and comparing, and start collaborating. Often we do our gifts and talents such a disservice by trying to fit them into the mold of how the rest of society is using them. Even if you are sharing a message or presenting something to the world that is similar to someone else, the way you do it will be unique because no one has been through those experiences exactly like you. With this said, it’s not about needing to stand out to validate your worth. Heal that. Helping others has nothing to do with competing with them. It has everything to do with being the best version of who you are, so you can help others be the best versions of who they are. 

4) Decide who your audience is and clarify your message. 

Why are you writing? Having a brain aneurysm helped me clearly articulate why I picked up my pen. However, the solution I discovered can apply to anyone wanting to convey a message. There was a point when I didn’t know if I would wake up one day and no longer be able to speak and write. At the time, I felt I had a limited amount of time to say the things I wanted to convey to my children as well as to future versions of who they might grow to become. I wanted to share the wisdom I had learned from my life experiences, both the good ones and the defeating ones. 

Ask yourself, if I had only one remaining speech to give before leaving this world, what would I say and who would I say it to? This question will help you eliminate a lot of unnecessary chatter. It will help give you clarity about what is the most important words you wish to convey. We tend to weed through a lot of drama and cut to the chase about what truly matters when we live our lives from this perspective. Today, I continue to live my life in this manner. Every day I wake with the understanding that the present moment is the only one I am guaranteed. What will I do with it? What words will I speak today? What message to do I want to project? I still write everything I pen with this mindset. If you adopt this way of approaching how you want to write, it will bring clarity and precision to your words. 

Determine your audience. Who are you writing to? When I am writing, I place myself in an auditorium. I approach the stage. I sit down on the stool. I grab the microphone, and I speak to whoever the specific message is directed to. The majority of the time, my auditorium is solely my three children. I look into their eyes. I connect with their hearts. I grab my pen, and I write. Next, I often speak to the former version of myself at different stages of my life. I speak to me as a little girl, as a teen, and so on. I use my Spirit to channel a message for my current circumstances, and I speak from a higher wisdom and frame of mind allowing God to give me guidance for whatever is occurring at the present moment. Otherwise, I position someone in the audience that has asked me a question or someone that is going through something, and they are on my mind and in my heart. It is rare the audience is completely full. I always zone in on a specific person with a desire to use my words to uplift his or her Spirit and realign them with belief, truth, and most importantly love. For what other reason would there be a purpose to speak? 

5) You don’t have to have mastered everything in your life to be a master teacher. 

You don’t have to have perfected every area of your life to be profoundly and powerfully used to uplift others. If you wait till you have it all together before helping others, you’ll be trying to assist them from your grave. Zig Ziglar spoke one of my all-time favorite quotes, saying, “You don’t have to be great to get started, but you do have to get started to be great.” Start with what you have. Bring your fishes and two loaves of bread and let God multiply it and feed the multitudes. 

You will be an expert in some areas of your life while still working on others. You will also find that the areas where you have experienced the greatest failure, will most likely be the areas you have collected the highest wisdom and can be of utmost service to the world. Don’t be discouraged by your failures. Just allow them to be your teachers and use that wisdom to teach others. 

You don’t have to know everything to teach that which you know. Begin from your experiences and start making a beautiful, lasting impact on this world. You can touch millions by touching one person who is desperately seeking to be held. The love you offer them, and quite frankly, the love you offer yourself is transformative. Do not underestimate the power one genuinely changed person can do for this world. Those who have been through their metamorphosis are the ones that fly. Emerge from your chrysalis, go make some butterflies, and soar high, little caterpillar. 

6) Respect the opinions of others but follow your own Internal Guidance System. 

Anytime you step out to do anything impactful in this world, you may encounter resistance. You might quickly discover how eager people are to offer opinions they weren’t asked to provide. First up, carefully consider who you ask for guidance. Make sure you respect them, and be prepared for honest feedback that may or may not be uplifting or helpful to you. Here’s when you’ve got to know who you are, what you feel called to do, and you must never allow the opinions of others to distract you from that. You need to grow a thick skin. There will be some negative Nellie’s. Be so full of promise, passion, and purpose that their comments are only seen for they are meant to provide you – clarity, determination, tenacity, and more confidence in your abilities. Allow the heat to shape the diamond and make it sparkle even brighter. 

Never forget: Opinions are just that – opinions. Know your truth. Know the truth you wish to convey, and then stand firm. Accept what is useful and discard the trash. 

7) Your words are powerful. Choose them wisely. 

I have always been fascinated by the written word. It moves me. When I see it in print, it speaks to me with its own resonance and tone. I believe it’s because words are alive. They pierce. They provoke. They instruct. Words have the ability to touch the heart. They can give life, or they can take it away. Words can uplift, or they destroy. They can enslave, or they can liberate. Words can make us cry or laugh. They can evoke fear or faith. Ancient scripture teaches that the tongue that speaks them cannot be controlled. I believe this is because our tongues are designed to be wildly emancipated and ridiculously free to communicate as we will. However, one must know his or her words are the rudder steering the ship. The ship is your life; your words are the coordinates. They will chart the direction in which you go. Choose them wisely. Write pretty. 

This blog is dedicated to all the beautiful writers in this world, touching the souls of humanity with their pretty words articulating stories of tears to triumph. Thank you for giving us an inside peek into your delightful gifts, leaving us inspired, uplifted, captivated, intimately touched, and forever changed.