“Mom, Are You Going to Die?”

“Mom, are you going to die?”  I heard these words echoed from my oldest son Riley as he followed behind me and we walked into the house. I wasn’t expecting to hear a statement so grounding and gripping after a day at the lake laughing and playing together. After recently being diagnosed with a Cerebral Cavernous Malformation in my brainstem, the sacredness of life has become a moment by moment realization for us all.

Without a moment’s hesitation I replied without turning around or stopping what I what I was doing, “I don’t want you to be concerned about that, Sweetie.”

Riley quickly responded, “Well, I am.”

I paused and turned to my soon to be thirteen year old son, “There’s a song I wish I could play for you right now. The Spirit is singing it over me. It says,

‘The Lord has promised good to me.

His Word my Hope secures.

He will my shield and portion be

as long as life endures.’

Riley, waves come and go, flowers wither and fade, but I carry the living Word written upon my heart, flowing through my soul, and released through my heart. That Word can never die nor can I. This Word became much more than pieces of paper for me when the Spirit of God filled me a truth that set me free. I want you to always treasure Truth when you see, hear, or read it but your greatest joy will come when you find it within your own heart. The Word is living, breathing, and speaking to you continuously from within your heart and from within all creation. All the animals, the plants, and the many wonders of this world are given to teach of it.

All answers, all comfort, all healing, all and everything you need is the Word. The Word is my Everything. In the beginning was the Word and the WORD WAS GOD and the Word became flesh and lived among us. Now that the beautiful Spirit of that Word lives in us, our flesh is housing this magnificent Force. We are storing the Divine. We are holding heaven in our hearts. We are divinity wrapped within humanity. God with Us. God IN Us.

You are the storehouse for all that ever was and ever will be. With this knowing, nothing is impossible for you. Absolutely nothing. Seek the kingdom of heaven, search for this Word with all your heart. You will hear it speaking through the gentle whisper.

I have never found this Word, this amazing God that has always been, limited to any book, any religion, any dogma, or any governmental or personal agenda. This Word is too expansive, too glorious, to massive, and too far reaching with its unbiased mercy and loving compassion to be limited to one ‘special’ or ‘chosen’ group. Riley, this Word, this God, is in ALL THINGS. When you come to a place in your life when you can see God in everything and everyone, you will begin to praise, you will begin to burst with gratitude, and this Word will inhabit you. If you are still separating this Word in only one book, or one people, or resting it upon one land, you may see glimpses of Truth but you will never fully be consumed by it.

I have seen this Word, this God, and this Living Truth, spoken through a Buddhist Monk, a Hindu girl, and a Japanese girl as she serves her family with loving kindness and respect. I have seen it in the seashells, resting upon the mountain tops, and hovering amidst the meadows I love so dearly. I’ve seen it in the tears of an adulterous woman repenting without words from the cry of her heart. I’ve seen it in the hardened man who forgives after years of holding onto a rotting bitterness towards another. I’ve seen it on the Cross of Calvary as the Christ of God gave his life for his friends that they may know the Truth and the path to salvation. I’ve seen it in the New Age community as they focus their hearts to speak life, feel gratitude, and show respect and appreciation for every facet of nature. I’ve seen it in the heart of an atheist who seeks so desperately to stand on what he believes are principles of truth. I’ve seen it in the prideful, religious man who lives in fear and self righteous fervor yet believes wholeheartedly his pointing out the failures and mistakes of others is pleasing to God. I’ve seen the Light and the Word in the darkest of places and in the darkest of hearts. For there is ‘One God and Father of all, who is above all, and through all, and in you all.’ (Ephesians‬ ‭4:6‬) ‭Seeing glimpses of God in all things and all people will give you a peace you will not find believing He only exists in a few. Living as if you carry the presence of God and others do not will keep you separated from Truth God may want you to find in places you other wise may not have looked. Always be listening for the Word from within you and from within others. Separating yourself from people who are different than you separates you from discovering hidden Truth and has caused this world much grief, division, sorrow, and death.

So to answer your question, will I die? No, Sweetie. Not really. The Word of God endureth forever. Fill your heart with God, son. It’s more than a book. It’s a whole kingdom. Live in paradise with me. It begins now. It exists for always. You’re in my soul tribe, sweet boy. I’ve known you forever and I’ll know you for always. Let’s never die together.

I know you may have expected a different answer but these words are much more important for your journey. If you will absorb what I’m saying, they will become apart of you and hold us together for always.”