One thing my spiritual journey has shown me is the truth regarding the consciousness living in each and every cell of my body. Every single cell is a living thing, a miniature living organism that is programmed with a specific function straight from the mind of Divine Intelligence. Recently, I’ve come to think of these cells as the Little People I use to watch on Saturday morning cartoons when I was a young girl. Each of them having their own personality like the Seven Dwarfs in Snow White and yet so intelligent they function as do the flocks of birds, flying as if they are all governed by one mind. There is something about giving a personality and a name to a specific part of the body that makes me see it with a new level of respect and admiration for how it’s serving its God designed purpose. Recently, as I held my hand upon my abdomen I had a moment where I looked down upon these groups of cells. It was as if a whole village of thousands of tiny elves stopped their assignments momentarily and looked towards me. I had a chance to really look at them. They were exhausted. I saw myself through their eyes and I did not like what was there. They appeared in my mind as over-worked Egyptian slaves and I was Pharaoh, the hard task master. I felt as though at some point in times past we had been in unison and were companions but I had lost my way in the world, forgotten about my true friends, and was living it up like a child waisting away their inheritance. I had forgotten about the ones that had gotten me where I was, the ones that had kept me alive. I felt like the evil villain of the story and knew this was not my true path. I was suppose to be the generous and benevolent Queen admired and loved by the people, not seen as governing them but viewed as one among them working together to accomplish a most noble mission. With this awareness I named the cells in my body the Keepers for they were the keepers of my body. My intention to place my gaze upon them caused them all to stop their assignments and pause in wonderment. This was the first time I had ever noticed them. It was an awe inspiring, monumental moment. In their tired, weak, and frail state they turned to face me as if stunned I had fixed my mind upon them. I began to address them with the respect and admiration they had always deserved. It was as poignant as any heart-quenching scene from any movie ever seen by the human eye. They listened and I spoke….

Dearest Body and its many Keepers,

Please forgive me. Please forgive me for not knowing then what I know now.

I came here today to tell you how much I love you. But first I owe you a long overdue apology. I haven’t been kind to you. I’ve spoken negatively about you. I’ve called you names. I’ve belittled you. I’ve compared you. I’ve caused you great wounds and I’m sure scars from repeated offenses left to try and heal on their own. I’ve offered you no healing balm or soothing words to ease your aches and pains. I am a repeat offender and I can’t tell you how sorry I am for my misguided actions. You know that old saying, “You don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone.” This is me realizing how truly precious you are. I was wrong. You were so right. And I want you back. All of you. I want to love, cherish, and nurture you like you should have been treated all along.

In 7th grade when that popular kid told me my legs were too white and he laughed at you, I’m sorry I begged my mom to go to the tanning bed and ultimately exposed you to harmful rays. I should have protected you, taken better care of you, defended you, and loved you exactly as you were. I love your beautiful skin. It’s white and porcelain and reminds me of the pretty china dolls I see in those fancy cabinets. Sure I think olive skin is pretty but I want you to know that I wouldn’t trade you for everything in the whole wide world. You are mine and I want you. I’ve never told you that and you need to know how I truly feel.

Those beauty pageants I entered….gosh, I’m so sorry I did that to you. I constantly critiqued you, criticized you, and compared you to all the other bodies. I stopped appreciating all you had given me and started wanting the other girl’s hair, the other girl’s smile, and the other’s girl’s body. I even wanted to walk like someone else. I didn’t know my comparison games were killing you. I understand the consciousness that exists now in every cell of my body. How could I say those things to you? I know my words and how I felt about you affected your performance. And yet you loved me. You kept working for me. You kept helping me grow. I have given you such a beating.

I’m sorry I didn’t believe in myself or accept my worth. I’m sorry I was too busy looking at everyone’s else’s gifts that I could not see nor learn to appreciate my own. I wanted to sing so I failed to see I could write. I wanted to dance so I failed to see I could articulate my thoughts well. I wanted to be a cheerleader and an athlete to fit in with what was popular so I failed to notice I was poetic and lyrical and a good story teller. I want to say the cool thing so I failed to hear you were speaking to me all the right things. I wanted to please everyone else so I denied giving you what you truly needed.

To my hair, I owe you the biggest apology. You originated wavy and beautiful and when I wanted to follow the trends, I gave you the worst 80’s perm EVER. It took years for you to recover. You didn’t know what to do. You were half straight. Half curly. I can’t imagine how confused you must have been. And if that wasn’t bad enough, I had my Mom attempt to change the color you chose for me in 7th grade. At this point, you were so distraught that the results came out multi-fascinated with varying shades of yellow, black, brown, and white. The next day when I went to school my “friends” nicknamed me skunk. I went home and lied beneath my covers in a dark room with a hoody atop my head hating myself. For what? Bad hair. Again, I’m sorry for not knowing then what I know now. I love my hair. I love how you grow it for me. It’s perfect. As is. There are those who have lost their hair that understand its value to them. May I never loose you in order to understand and appreciate your worth.

Body, there is one area I have been absolutely unmerciful to you. I have been so unhappy with you in this regard and I am deeply sorry. I have criticized your form, your shape, your size, your height, and your weight. I have held you to unrealistic standards and tortured you with unhealthy diets, pills and vitamins from every diet program on the planet. I’ve made you eat weird combinations of food and restricted you in unhealthy ways all because of my lack of self love, all because I didn’t know how to LOVE you, to treat you with the kindness and respect you deserve. I was unappreciative and behaving like a spoiled brat. I long to nourish you and feed you with pleasure and the best of all that you need and desire.

To my mouth and my hand, you gifted me well yet I used you from a wrong space. My gifts were given to inspire and encourage, to help and to teach. Yet, I used them as a means of performance to fulfill a need to be loved and accepted. You went numb on me. You were tired and unwilling to “perform” any longer. May you now feel the tremendous relief of me knowing I am loved and accepted simply because I AM. And may you heal more and more everyday and awaken once again to life and vitality as I utilize you, not to heal something that is broken but as a means to celebrate that which is whole and well.

When I was pregnant with my three children, I was cruel to you. I’m so sorry that I judged you and compared you to standards set by others who were not me. I was so busy trying to fit a mold that I failed to see the beauty and wonderment of how you stretched and created the perfect form for the precious life-form within me. I was more concerned and ashamed of my growing body and change in appearance that I failed to appreciate the gift you were creating for me. I hurt you with my harsh critiques and I’m sorry. You were not fat. You were bursting with LIFE.

Whether it was needing glasses, having acne, or a rash upon my skin, any imperfection that arose from you, I quickly turned on you and tried to hide, conceal, and cover you from being seen. I based your beauty on what was without instead of loving all that you had given me from within. The aggression within created the disturbances without. I’m sorry I made you feel shame. You were so perfect and I was too wrapped up in everyone’s else’s opinion to notice my True Self. I should have been adoring you in all your beauty.

And finally, I’m sorry that I didn’t accept what you were doing as holy and right and good and true and perfect for me. I’m sorry that I tried to change you. I’m sorry that I tried to stop you from doing what you knew was best for me. I’m sorry that I undermined your authority, your position, and your place in my life and in my body. I’m sorry that I wished I had a different body. I’m sorry I couldn’t see that you were given to me for what I needed. I’m sorry that I haven’t thought you were beautiful and wonderful, amazing and perfect just the way you are. I’m sorry that I’ve overworked you, overtired you, and confused you. I’ve made you work harder than you should ever have had to work for me. All of this because I didn’t respect you. I didn’t see your worth and your value.

And to my Body and all its Keepers, I just want you to know that I’m sorry from the bottom of my heart that I haven’t cherished you, loved you, and honored you the way that I should have. Going forward I want to work with you and not against you. I want to uphold you and the office that you carry within me. I want to treat you with love, compassion, respect, and integrity. I am proud of you, not ashamed of you. I’m sorry that in the past I have put that shame and guilt upon you because I wasn’t willing to accept what you had given me or that you knew what was best for me.

I want you to know that I love you, I am proud of you, and I thank you for all the hard work you’ve done for me and my body. Thank you for keeping me here this long and for fighting for me when I was ignorant, stupid, prideful, and vain.

You are my Inner Wisdom given by God for my continual Well Being. For this most ostentatious role, I humbly say how dearly I love you and ask for your forgiveness. Today I make a commitment to be in alignment with you instead of trying to be in opposition to you.

And I seal this declaration of intent with all my devotion,

Misti

I have learned in my life the value of asking for forgiveness. It is so healing to the soul and releases the shame and guilt we carry with us for failures and mistakes. The faster we acknowledge where we’ve taken a wrong path and and ask for forgiveness, the faster we get back on the path we were meant to take. However, there is an important step I have learned that is invaluable to heal completely from such a mishap. We must forgive ourselves and receive that forgiveness into our spirit, heart, mind, and soul. That’s what creates the SHIFT in our lives and takes us out of the low vibration associated with guilt and shame. So in response to this plea to my body, my body and its Keepers answered me back. With every cell turned towards me and with their utmost intention they replied….

We forgive you. Our mercy is extended to you. It wasn’t your original intention when you came here to treat us this way. You simply lost your way. Your forgot who you were and now you have remembered. We know how to fix the problems existing within your body. We have been programmed by Divine Intelligence to function in your highest good and to keep you thriving at all times. We are eager to help you and everything can be turned around. We ask that you only listen better. We NEED you to listen better. Love us by being attentive. Pay attention when we tell you what we need. The gateway to commune with us is LOVE and you found your way here by both loving us and loving yourself. We are energized and ready for the task at hand!

With this response spoken I saw the tired faces of these little people shift to ones of relief, glee, excitement, and joy! They began shouting and cheering and dancing amongst themselves! A divine light encapsulated the thousands of them and restored their life force with energy and vitality. No longer did they look tired, worn-down, confused, and misused. They were invigorated. They were happy! Their hope was restored and they were more determined than ever to fix and mend all that was broken. Commands were being given and parts were being repaired. I saw excitement, joy, exuberance, and the heart of thousands of cheerful givers working in unison to restore and repair all functioning systems.

Will some think I’m crazy because I talk to my body and these little people I have warranted as deserving of love, affection, a listening ear, and fellowship? Maybe. Who cares! We are reunited in the best possible way. We chat with one another and every day I tell them that I love them, that I appreciate them, and that I am so glad they are mine. I know and can feel how much this invigorates them, how much they love my kindness towards them, and how much this blessed communion is helping me to heal and restore.

This one is for the Keepers! I choose you above all others. I love you! I love my body! I am listening to you. And I am thankful for each and every effort you put into making me…. ME.

May this post serve as a reminder to all that how you speak to your body matters. Be kind.

Misti, from me to you, I love you, Beautiful One. You are lovely beyond measure. Keep shining, Bright Star! I love all that you are and…

I’m really sorry it took me thirty eight years to tell you that.

Better late than never.