I’ve spent most of my life craving.
Craving touch.
Craving words of affirmation.
Craving to be held.
Craving eye contact.
Craving to be seen.
Craving to be recognized.
Craving to be desired.
Craving to be nourished.
Craving to feel worth.
Craving to feel significant.
Craving deep soul connections and intimacy with others.
Craving something meaningful.
It has been one of the greatest struggles I have fought to overcome in this life: craving for something more than what I currently have in any given moment.
I had a continuous tendency to always look for what was missing instead of relishing in the beautiful moments I was experiencing. The more I focused on what was lacking, the deeper the craving grew for something more.
Every day I am working on healing the cravings, and every day I am getting stronger. God is rising stronger within me to satiate and satisfy when the urge to feel I need something more tries to take hold of me. I am living more and more with a sense of completeness and contentment for whatever the moment I am experiencing is offering me. I continuously look for the profound gifts each of my moments are bestowing upon me. Even in the difficult ones, I have trained myself to look for the value. The Spirit is giving me a taste of what it feels like to be 100% spiritually full. I am feasting on an internal kingdom of more and more bliss. I am learning to place my focus on giving more and needing less.
In days past, the continuous sampling of receiving my worth or validation by others would be fleeting, leaving me chasing after it with a constant pursuit to fill an immense void. Today, the satisfaction I am given in the stillness with just me and that beautiful, refreshing breeze of the Spirit blowing upon me, is enough to suffice. My cup is full. It bubbles over. That life-giving Spirit makes me feel full.
Every time I feel that old familiar pull to feel as if something is missing, to feel I need someone or something to make me feel special, I am now conscious of it. That’s the first step, eh? I will now pause and acknowledge what I need to satiate the ache residing inside of me. I then reach for it. I have to feed and nourish myself on the Light that has been placed within me.
This Christ, this God, this Source of all that is or ever could be, this Highest Version of all that YOU are destined to be, is most certainly there. This love conquering Force is stronger than any lack. It can feed the weary. It can hold the helpless. It can comfort the lonely. It can mend the broken. It can romance the soul that is hungry and desperate for love. It can make you happy when you should be sad. It can make you fill full when your life circumstances has offered you grief and loss. It can tangibly touch you when you long to feel warmth. It can embrace you with a deeper and more lasting satisfaction than you will ever find in the arms of another. It can make you feel like the leading lady in the greatest love story ever told or written by the human hand.
I have an imagery of this Mighty Peace and the Master of Love that permeates the recesses of my soul. There is a scene in the movie Titanic when the ship begins to sink where an orchestra emerges on deck to play their instruments. In hopes of issuing in a calm and comfort to the souls of others in the midst of terrible chaos, the men begin to provide their sweet melodies to the people as the ship makes her final descent into the frightening waters.
The Light of God within my soul is my symphony when in troubled waters, when the ship of my life is sinking, when death surrounds me, when the night is frigid, and when the waters of life feel cold and unbearable. This internal kingdom of abiding and abundant love becomes as an orchestra of comfort soothing me and helping me establish peace amidst the harsher moments of my journey. Instead of running around frantically, I pull up a chair and open my spiritual ears. I listen and appreciate the melody of life, and in that stillness, I find my Lifeboat. I find my saving grace. I find my safe haven that rescues me from the sinking moments of life.
Craving satiated Heart radiating Love activating Appreciation cultivating Faith elevating
And this, my dearest friends, is where I find my “something more.” In this space…immersed in the Waters of Life… is where I find the “more” I’ve been searching to obtain my entire life. And the best part is, once I feel I have my “something more,” and once all my cravings have been fed by the Spirit of Life, always, without fail, the “something more” manifests tangibly in my life exceedingly, abundantly, above and beyond anything I could have ever hoped or imagined.
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